The Plan to Save Potomac

Does RHOP need a cast shake-up?

On this week’s The Real Housewives of Potomac, the Grand Dame of Potomac Karen Huger gathered her fellow cast mates to play a game of pickleball (where she provided actual pickles, for some reason… I think she probably Googled pickleball once and let it rock) with the intention of fixing the rift between them. At this point, Dr. Wendy Osefo did not fuck with Gizelle Bryant, Robyn Dixon, or Mia Thornton. Mia did not fuck with Wendy, Robyn, or Candiace Dillard Bassett. Candiace did not fuck with Gizelle, Robyn or Mia. Gizelle did not fuck with Candiance or Wendy. Robyn did not fuck with Candiace or Wendy, maybe Mia. And new girl Nneka Ihim was raring to start a fight with Wendy to get some camera time. Do you see the problem?

Rifts on Bravo’s Real Housewives franchises aren’t new. It’s the point of the show. But most of the franchises have had more turnover than Potomac, which boasts four O.G. cast members in Karen, Robyn, Gizelle, and Ashley. This would suggest that all four women have fans, even if you’ll often read obtuse and attention-seeking tweets like, “Gizelle and Robyn have fans?” Gizelle and Robyn, otherwise known as the Green Eyed Bandits, have fans but they’re too old to argue with people on social media, they just watch the show and respond positively to them in Bravo focus groups. Because there’s no doubt that Twitter does not possess the entirety of Potomac fans, especially now that the series is enjoying its best ratings in its 8-year run. It’s too much to expect the fans to change their behavior, which is why Bravo needs to deliver an edict to the cast to get over their bullshit and make the show watchable again. It’s still a fun show for the most part, but last season’s accusations of sexual harrassment against Candiace’s husband Chris (started by Gizelle and Ashley), took things too far. And if that wasn’t enough, Mia and Wendy got into an altercation in Miami that threatened to rival the time Candiace was physically assaulted by former cast member Monique Samuels.

Potomac has long been my favorite current franchise on Bravo. I’ve liked most of the women to varying degrees until last season, when things turned darker than expected. This season has been a lighter in comparison, but the feuds between the women are threatening to turn the series into The Real Housewives of New Jersey where you’re either Team Teresa or Team Melissa.

Now that The Real Housewives of New York (and potentially The Real Housewives of Atlanta) have opened the door to cleaning house, I decided to take a premature look (the season has only just begun, so my opinion will undoubtedly change) at the current cast of Potomac and see who should stay and who should go:

Ashley Darby

Axe

At this point, Ashley’s penchant for stirring up drama amongst her castmates and escaping unscathed has reached its expiration date. Most of the time it’s been funny and messy but the Chris shit last year left a bad taste. This year’s scheme seems to be sloppier than ever. Approaching Wendy about an “article” written about her claiming she was Osu and that Nneka brought it up to her. It was an obvious attempt to start drama between both women. Meanwhile, Ashley’s alleged divorce is still happening off screen and she’s not bringing much else to the table besides causing chaos for everyone else. She’s been a great housewife, but I think it’s time for Ashley to go. She’ll be great on a future Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip, though.

Candiace Dillard Bassett

Keep

Candiace is maybe the most successful recording artist to come out of Real Housewives (though Countess Luann keeps busy lol)? Her music is genuinely good and at no point has it ever seemed like a joke or something she was merely using her RHOP fame to cash in on. Furthermore, she’s opened her personal life up more than any of her other cast mates from showing the difficulties in her marriage, fertility journey, and fights with her mom. Even if her Twitter presence (“a disaster,” as Andy Cohen called it at a reunion) is messy — her stans are zero calorie Barbz and she searches her own name far too much — she’s definitely one of Potomac’s biggest assets. She has every right to forgive Ashley and Gizelle, but she’s shown that she’ll still show up to work when she has to.

Gizelle Bryant

Keep

Gizelle is a polarizing housewife. You either love or your loathe her. But she keeps people talking and that’s always going to be in the show’s benefit. The accusations that she never opens up and shares her personal life are exaggerated. She’s certainly shown plenty of her life on camera. But Gizelle also revels in other people’s mess. Karen knows how to deal with her but no one else on the cast has truly stepped up to the plate (aside Candiace at reunions and well, online of course). Bringing in some new housewives that will challenge Gizelle is a must. Monique, for instance, knew how to handle Gizelle very well. She just couldn’t handle her emotions in a fight.

Karen Huger

Keep

Of course the Grand Dame has to stay! She is Potomac after all. And at this point, she’s the only woman who has forged genuine relationships with each of the women in her cast. She’s also set herself up perfectly as comedic relief and the peacemaker, which isn’t easy to do. When she does have conflict with another cast member, she engages for a bit, but then moves on like she has with Mia this season.

Mia Thornton

Keep

I’m sorry, but Mia is funny. And having to downgrade to a smaller home after losing her company makes her even funnier. Plus, next season we get to see her divorcing G! Anyone who takes Mia too seriously (Wendy) tends to fumble. But if you realize she is a very nonserious person and engage her as such, she’ll never truly bother you. Wendy was right about one thing, though. Mia is slow. But that’s why she’s a great housewife. Hilarious and completely lacking in self-awareness.

Nneka Ihim

Axe

Starting a fight with Wendy of all people, who’s never sustained an interesting feud on Potomac? It’s a chop for me.

Robyn Dixon

Axe

As much as it pains me to say, Robyn has to go. She can live in denial about Juan Dixon all she wants but she needs to do it off my television screen. I thought that she would come into this season ready to play ball, but she and Juan are still hiding things and also getting angry at people for bringing up stuff that’s happened off camera. The entire relationship feels sad at this point and it’s not fun to watch. Robyn is still best friends with Gizelle and co-workers on their podcast Reasonably Shady, so firing Robyn would probably just entail demoting her to Charisse level. That’s fine. If she ever divorces Juan, then give her a contract again. Immediately.

Dr. Wendy Osefo

Axe

It’s time to give it up, Deelishis. Wendy is gorgeous and intelligent and… that’s about it. She’s incredibly boring to watch on television and overall, she hasn’t really formed any relationships with the women on the cast besides Candiace and Karen (and even those feel more like an alliance than a friendship). Wendy has yet to really have any iconic moments on the series, most of her reads sound rehearsed, and she switches up careers and business ventures each season like she’s grasping at straws to be entertaining.

For Season 9, that leaves us with a cast of Candiace, Karen, Gizelle, and Mia. I would add three new women to the mix and hopefully prevent the series from turning into a mirror image of Jersey and also give us some much needed new dynamics in Potomac.