Good morning! Welcome to the first official e-mail from III, my newsletter relaunch! This is a brand-new world we’re living in. And by that, I mean a post-Love Island world. I’m gonna be honest… I skipped this season! I’ve been a longtime fan of the UK and U.S. versions of the series but I had too much going on this summer to devote my time to the villa. But somehow, I feel like I still watched the show because I have nightmares about the name Nicolandria and truly everyone creating content online became a Love Island superfan this summer (for the engagement, obviously). There are a ton of shows I could get into for more clicks, but that just wouldn’t be me. I mean, I’m still several weeks behind on The Valley because Jax Taylor being on TV disgusts me. And the show stopped being fun! Maybe Scheana should have shared the fact that Brock cheated on her while she was pregnant on TV instead of in a book that I’m never going to read (but I’ll get highlights from Sexy Unique Podcast or whatever).
Of course, after everything I just said about Love Island… I’m now devoting my time to Big Brother season 27. And watching the live feeds. Because I’m a pyscho. But this is the #1 show I look forward to every summer and this season’s cast is AMAZING so far. It also includes former winner Rachel Reilly. And someone being nominated for eviction for spending two hours in the shower. Imagine not watching this show? Are there enough Big Brother fans here for me to include my weekly thoughts in our weekend newsletter?
Until I decide, please join me on Chat BCC’s Big Brother forum!
Brendon Holder, my friend and writer of the newsletter Loosey, is publishing a novella online. It’s titled “Come If You Want” and he actually read some of it during my Brooklyn book tour stop in February! Read for gems like this, where he drags our group chat:
Speaking of books! I turned in my pitch for my second book to my agent yesterday. Let’s pray she likes it.
Does it even matter if Justin Bieber's album is any good?
Justin Bieber surprise dropped his seventh album, Swag, this week and it’s all anyone is talking about (or at least making memes about) online. Bieber revealed himself to be a Love Island fan on Instagram (I assume he’s watched it with his wife, Hailey), which makes sense. The most annoying people you know online probably shifted their personalities from Love Island to Swag seamlessly. Gotta stay relevant!
I’ll admit it took me several listens to get into the 21-track album, only clicking with it on a long train ride back from the Alamo Draft House after seeing Eddington last night1. In our aforementioned group chat, Brendon likened it to a SZA song dump like Lana. Songs that are less about commercial viability than they are some shit that Bieber just really wanted to get out into the world. Which makes sense. Carter Lang’s production is all over this album, as it has been on all of SZA’s. Bieber also teamed up with Lang and SZA to hop on the acoustic remix of “Snooze.”
Bieber became a meme not too long ago, after recent outburst at paparazzi, where he uttered the phrase, “It's not clocking to you. It's not clocking to you that I'm standing on business, is it?” You couldn’t log online without alternating between Bieber and Love Island memes. Standing on business. Mamacita! It’s not clocking to you. I’m a mommy! Bieber is smart enough to capitalize on this. Who knows how long these songs have been waiting to drop or if he rushed to finish them and capitalize on his moment. Either way, everyone wants to let you know how “down” they are by referencing the album. Even NY’s party promoter masquerading as a Mayor, Eric Adams:
He also chimed in on the Love Island finale, btw:
He is so embarrassing. He should be running the Wendy’s social media account instead of pretending to be Mayor! Anyway.
Is the album good? It’s fine. There’s a few songs I like — the pitched up vocals of “Yukon,” the bouncy “First Place,” the folksy “Daisies,” and “Sweet Spot” with a fun Sexxy Red feature. I also enjoy “405,” “Swag,” and “Zuma House” on the back half of the album. But my favorite Bieber has always been R&B and hard pop. I need that Rodney Jerkins production from Believe. I need Journals. Or “Die for You” off Justice. The album meanders a bit too much for me and unlike SZA, Bieber isn’t naturally witty. He’s an amazing performer and he can be very funny unintentionally, but he’s not really funny. His lyrics aren’t endlessly quotable like SZA.
But it doesn’t matter. Because he’s winning the internet conversation rn. And frankly, in a world where someone is pushing AI bullshit like the fake band The Velvet Sundown right now with their innocuous, non-descript wannabe ‘60s California jams… I don’t mind Swag. Because the answer to AI is this. It’s the fact that we’re listening to this album because we like Bieber. Not because it’s his best album ever, it’s just because we like him and want to be part of the conversation. AI doesn’t create conversation. It just regurgitates them.
I’m interviewing Ari Aster this week for Keep It, so no formal thoughts on it yet. But… if you know how I felt about Beau is Afraid, there you go!
Leave it to me to not change the Frank banner… chile…
this season of Love Island was so bad and yet we all couldn't pull ourselves away...