You Know the Saturday Vibes
So you went a little hard Friday night. You know you were fucked up because you ate half a sleeve of Chromatic Oreos and as I said on Keep It this week they are vile. They taste like horse sex, to borrow from Cardi B’s new banger “Up.”
Saturday then, is for recovery. Here’s my step-by-step:
1. Wake up between 11am and noon. This is not negotiable. If you’re a person who likes to wake up at 7am on Saturday, we are not the same. I like to read in the mornings instead of reaching for my phone, because we already live in hell so why rush to find out what new awful thing has happened this morning? You’ll find out soon enough. Something short like a play is preferable to wake you up and put you in an unexpected rhythm for the rest of the day. I re-read Martin McDonagh’s The Pillowman and flipped through a few scenes in Tennessee Williams’ Cat on a Hot Tin Roof because I’ve had the word “mendacity” stuck in my head all week.
2. I recently purchased a Dr. Dennis Gross Pro Facial Steamer which is ideal for a good skin cleanse and ejection of the previous nights toxins. I love facials but in the middle of a pancetta-studded bucatini isn’t exactly the time to get one (plus my favorite place to get a facial now is Tracie Martyn in New York).
3. Order the spicy fusilli from Jon & Vinny’s. If you’re not in Los Angeles, any spicy pasta will do but the heartiness of the creamy vodka sauce and the kick of the red pepper is perfect for sweatpants and sweatshirt on your couch or a moment in your backyard.
4. You’re out of serotonin anyway, so a harrowing documentary you’ve been putting off watching till you’re in the mood for it is perfect for now. I watched The New York Times Presents: Framing Britney Spears, which discusses much of what we already know about how much the media royally fucked over and cannibalized Britney Spears, but also places it in the context of the ever-growing #FreeBritney movement. More thoughts on this to come on Keep It this week, but right now I wanna fight Diane Sawyer. I would also recommend Netflix’s Crack: Cocaine, Corruption & Conspiracy which will mostly just make you want to fight the Reagans and white people.
5. Take a two hour nap.
6. Pop three Camino gummi edibles (my current faves: I love the variety of flavors—pineapple habanero is the best—and each one is only 5mg of THC) and write your newsletter while listening to some deep cut disco.
7. Light a new candle. I went with DS & Durga’s Johnnie Walker collabo, Blue Label. The whiskey and oat scent is STRONG just from the unboxing. Full review to come on my newly launched Instagram account for candle recommendations and reviews: Let the Flames Begin.
8. Are we ordering the spicy fusilli pasta again? That’s between you and Jesus and I’m not telling you if I did. But my Saturday ends on the couch honoring the late Christopher Plummer with a double feature of Beginners and Knives Out.