Ted Cruz is a bitch
Or: A Definitive Ranking of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
Today the internet uncovered that Lisa Barlow of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City donated several times to Ted Cuz for President in 2016. Meaning, she set up recurring donations to Ted Cruz. That seditious bitch who tried to overthrow our government along with Nazi Gumby Joshua Hawley. Aside from that though, Ted Cruz has always been a loser? He’s licked Trump’s boots after Trump called Ted’s own wife ugly. He went along with pretending he was the Zodiac killer not because he has a sense of humor, but because he probably thought it would make him likeable.
He’s done really shitty impersonations of Simpsons characters (thanks, BuzzFeed!!!) and he also accused the school of being full of Communists. He sucks. Anyone who donates money to him sucks.
So, Lisa Barlow sucks. This is all on top of converting to Mormonism? Who does that? Weirdos, that’s who.
With that said, here is my Definitive Ranking of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
Whitney is a GEM. Plus, Rihanna follows her (and she follows Heather). She’s been vulnerable, she’s been messy when she’s drunk, and she constantly looks great. Heather has also been vulnerable and messy and I have hopes that next season she’ll stop talking about her damn divorce in every scene. Mary is a lunatic and scares me, but she’s essentially a friend of so she should be on next season because honestly, the episode with her luncheon is still the best of the series. Meredith’s son pains me to no end and I’m tired of her “disengaging” all the damn time (you’re literally being paid to engage), but I do enjoy her and her awful clothing. Truly, she dresses as poorly as Gizelle Bryant and someone has to say it.
Then there’s Lisa, who is a Ted Cruz stan. So she sucks.
Then there’s Jen Shah, possibly the thirstiest Housewife to ever exist who is a mix between LeeAnn Locken and Monique Samuels in that she’s not only deranged but she might also try to kill someone. She does entirely TOO MUCH in every single scene and the episode of Watch What Happens Live where she shouted into a microphone and waved a Pride flag at Andy will scar me for life.