RHONY Power Rankings: Run Erin Run

Season 14, Episode 7

The All-New Real Housewives of New York City

Season 14, Episode 7: “You Wreath What You Sow”

Bah humbug! Though she started off with some lite self-serious Ramona vibes, Erin starts to lose a lot of traction this episode by being the fun police. Meanwhile, Ubah is still out sick while the ladies are making Christmas wreaths (a kind of “fun” activity that NY transplants from Ohio probably do) but manages to outshine at least two of her castmates this episode. I would be scared!

9 - Kelley, Erin’s Sister

(Last week: 10)

Now why is this girl back? Brynn packed her up and sent her on her way last week and here she is again, on the phone with Erin, calling Brynn a bitch for her behavior at Erin’s event. It’s giving thirsty and I’m already fearful of future seasons where we’ll have to put up with Kelley showing up like Leah McSweeney’s sister. That is, if Erin lasts that long! But we’ll get to that.

8 - Abe Lichy

(Last week: 7)

Abe came off sweet last week. This week, he’s a busybody, running to tell Erin about Brynn flirting with him and joking about him getting divorced. I do appreciate that he brought it to Erin instead of getting involved in women’s business and chastising Brynn herself. But as I said with Kelley, that could all change with another season or two. Although once again, that’s if Erin lasts that long…

7 - Erin Lichy

(Last week: 3)

One thing you need to know about Erin is that she’s a Cancer. Cancers, notoriously one of the hardest signs to be friends with because they are pushy and sensitive, distress me. And Erin has begun to distress me. I thought she was evenly matched with Jessel two weeks ago, but it turns out that Erin is much better in one-on-one confrontations. When she has an entire audience, she tends to lose the entire plot and starts carrying far too much for anyone to keep caring. Essentially, she feels disrespected by Sai for leaving her event early and claiming once again that she didn’t feed her guests. She does get off a funny joke about how Sai might have a tapeworm if she’s that hungry all the time. But Sai dismisses Erin immediately, and with no one else to back her up, Erin flounders and then tries to take on Brynn. The difference between Brynn and Jessel is that Jessel actually deigns to meet Erin where she’s at. She respects her. Brynn, probably still smarting from Erin (jokingly?) saying, “I guess I love her more” about Jenna, now gives no fucks about Erin. As evidenced from her pimped out Cuff It look at Erin’s vow renewal party. Erin tries to call out Brynn for flirting with her husband and Brynn is like, “that’s just how I am!”

Unfortunately for Erin, pretty much everyone else backs Brynn up. Instead of changing tactics or easing up on the attack… Erin stomps out of their wreath decorating party. And not a single one of the women follows after her. Honey, if you’re storming out of a party on housewives and no one chases after to see if you’re okay? It’s time to give it up.

6 - Sai de Silva

(Last week: 9)

Sai continues to find new ways to be confounding. She visits Jenna at her Cover Girl Lash Blast (or whatever) casting session and learns, via an anecdote Jenna tells an auditioning model, that Jenna isn’t her real name. It’s actually Judith. And she got the name from her younger brother, who could only call her “Jenna Jenna Jennatalia” as a kid. It’s a very awkward yet endearing story that Jenna obviously feels a little uncomfortable saying on camera, which of course, prompts Sai to immediately force Jenna to relay it to everyone else at the wreath ceremony. Because Jenna doesn’t open up enough. Even though Sai herself has said that she’s not great at empathy. So what’s going on here? Does she really want her cast mates to open up or is she deciding that the easiest way to not having a storyline herself is if he digs into other people’s business? Either way, it’s grating.

And that’s not even her addressing the fact that all of Jenna’s “gifts” are products that she wants to hawk. Which, duh. Aren’t you an influencer? Ain’t that the job?!

5 - Ubah Hassan

(Last week: 6)

Ubah is still out sick, but the ladies FaceTime her at the end of the episode and show her the spread at the wreath event, so she can see that there’s actually food at this event. Then, in her confessional, Ubah mentions how unappetizing the food likes and that she’s glad to have missed it. Honestly, less than two minutes of camera time and she was the funniest part of the episode. Ubah has been sorely missed!

4 - Pavit Randhawa

(Last week: 1)

Pavit is one of my favorite husband additions to the Bravo franchise. It’s so interesting watching his dynamic with Jessel, because at the onset of the series it seemed like they were headed for divorce? But now they’ve settled into a comfortable rhythm with one another on camera and I love how they tease one another and also seem to actually listen to each other during their conversations. Well, Jessel not so much, but that’s why we love her. Also, Pavit is gorgeous. He’s ranked this high just for that. And I need to visit all the restaurants that Pavit and Jessel visit this season (like Kyma, the Greek restaurant in Hudson Yards they eat at this week) , because I think I trust their taste in food.

3 - Jenna Lyons

(Last week: 5)

Jenna shared the aforementioned “Jennatalia” story this week and also had a casting call for her line of eyelashes because she has jobs… she has owns businesses! Jenna manages to remain so effortlessly chic in every scene that I’m giving her extra points just for that, because she’s still not mixing it up with the other women the way I’d love her to. I would’ve checked Sai for running to tell my business not five seconds into sitting down with the other ladies, but that’s just me!

2 - Brynn Whitfield

(Last week: 4)

Brynn opens the episode by nearly orgasming while working out, in case you were worried she wasn’t going to continue doing the most on this show. But she has my favorite scene of the episode, where we meet her ex-fiancé Gideon (who is very, very handsome) as they go shopping for vintage cars. Gorgeous and rich and ballsy because he proposed to her when they were broken up and she was already dating someone else. They matched on Hinge and I just know after this episode his dormant Hinge matches were lighting UP. Because is a catch. What you doing, Brynn???

1 - Jessel Taank

(Last week: 2)

Jessel learning that Jenna’s real name is Judith and recoiling in disgust was a sublime moment in an episode of many of them. And her conversation with her mother about choosing in vitro was also heartwarming. Jessel is the housewife who has changed the most since the premiere and I would not be surprised to see her seated next to Andy at the reunion. She’s taking it!