RHONY Power Rankings: Husbands and Housewives

Season 14, Episodes 5 & 6

The All-New Real Housewives of New York City

Season 14, Episode 5: “Fashionably Absent”

Season 14, Episode 6: “Anniversary, Not Sorry”

My apologies for missing last week, I don’t have any excuse except that I was on Fire Island for the week and on vacation (also ostensibly finishing the first draft of my book, which I am now 8K words from finishing in case anyone besides my editor Jamia was wondering). There’s quite a bit to cover with the highest ranked housewives, but very little for everyone else because at least three are just coasting on vibes in the past two episodes.

10 - Kelley, Erin’s Sister

(Last week: n/a)

Erin hosted her anniversary party (which seemed to be entire too long and included no food, which is par for the course with Erin) and this being a Housewives event, meant that the ladies were going to show up and show out. Her sister, clearly looking for a moment, told the women to hush during one of the speeches and Brynn cleared her right up by pointing out that everyone was talking, but Kelley only focused on them (for the camera time, obviously). I’d be embarrassed if I so desperately tried to get a moment on Bravo and that’s how it ended up!

9 - Sai de Silva

(Last week: 7)

Sai has been giving paint dry for a couple episodes now. She’s out of the drama mix and mostly everyone’s go-to for emotional conversations (about the other girls). But she admits that she’s not very empathetic to others, so it’s giving opp!

8 - David Craig

(Last week: n/a)

Sai’s husband seems to be the voice of reason in the house, which he do like in a Husband Of. Here’s hoping he doesn’t turn out to be awful.

7 - Abe Lichy

(Last week: n/a)

I thought the scene of him taking Erin to dinner and presenting her with a new ring in honor of their anniversary party was sweet. Then he held everyone hostage with a presumably long speech, but he seems to be a good husband. A Trump voting husband, but a good one nonetheless!

6 - Ubah Hassan

(Last week: 5)

Ubah took a bit of a backseat these couple of episodes. She took Erin to get a bunch of jewelry from Jacob the Jeweler (who I’ve been at parties with in my former New York life, post his prison stint, and he is surprisingly fun) for her event but had to miss it due to Covid. She did manage to get in a dig at Erin on FT that she was planning to eat before attending because Erin never feeds anyone. And the midseason trailer that dropped this week shows that we have a lot more in store from Ubah this season.

5 - Jenna Lyons

(Last week: 2)

After carrying the bones the other week, Jenna takes a seat back and… decorates her Christmas tree with her family. It’s a cute scene but is this what I wanna seeee? But shout out to the scene where she goes through her closet (reminding us she’s dressed Beyoncé, okay???) with our mutual friend Heather Kleisner, an icon, who looked great on camera. Next time bring me, Heather!

4 - Brynn Whitfield

(Last week: 1)

Despite clearing Erin’s busybody sister, Brynn was actually doing the most this week from flirting with Erin’s husband at their anniversary party to wearing a white fur coat and sunglasses inside the entire night like she was Truck Turner (how zooted was she??). It was a bit of whiplash from her vulnerable persona the other week and it still feels like she’s putting on a show to hide some real trauma. I’m interested to see where Brynn progresses.

3 - Erin Lichy

(Last week: 6)

It’s been a big two weeks for Erin. She’s rising in the rankings due to her being the only one consistently throwing events (that give her guests plenty of reason to complain, thank God). Where is the food, Erin? Next season I know we’re going to see Erin preparing a platter for every single event, like the food porn we get on Real Housewives of Atlanta (because they’re not filling the show with anything interesting this season). She also had our first real tense sitdown of the season with Jessel, where they traded chilly cold war tactics over coffee in TriBeCa. Erin, quick to show off how she’s not as difficult as Jessel, orders coffee “with regular milk” then is admonished when Jessel claims TriBecCa is an “up and coming neighborhood.” They also spar about whether or not Jessel actually works. This is classic Housewives shit and we love to see it.

2 - Jessel Taank

(Last week: 3)

Jessel is turning into a real icon, isn’t she? The feud with Erin is fun, she’s got pull in the fashion world (did you see the icons at her party? Lynn Yaeger! Sally Singer!), and she’s generally hilarious whether she’s being unintentionally rude or arguing with her husband Pavit about sending their kids to the uber-expensive Avenues The World School so they can rub shoulders with Tom Cruise. I mean, I wouldn’t pass that up as a Cruise stan, but I get Pavit’s reticence. She’s actually shown us the most of her personal life out of any of the women so far and she’s all anyone’s talking about online, so she’s earned her spot at the (near) top. Look out for her in a bonus episode of Keep It soon!

1 - Pavit Randhawa

(Last week: n/a)

Pavit is one of my favorite recent Husbands Of. He seems exasperated with but not annoyed by Jessel and he’s playing the game of letting the women and random thirst buckets like Jeff Lewis talk about his sex life on Watch What Happens Live. Plus, him dead-pan responding to Jessel referring to the Street Food Association of New York City as “The Fried Chicken Committee” was the funniest moment of the week. A star in the making!