Like Oprah, I Have Been Duped

On Swarm, Succession, and Starbucks

Mar 28, 2023

Remember when Oprah had James Frey, the author of A Million Little Pieces, on her show to tell him she felt duped because he lied about things that happened in his memoir? (Or embellished, who can say, but please Oprah don’t fact the memoir I’m currently writing please.) That’s a bit how I feel with Swarm. So much has been touted about how it’s a dissection of stan culture, the Beyoncé of it all, etc. And it’s… not that at all. The show has very little to say about stan culture or pop culture in general. Dominique Fishback is excellent as Dre, of course, but her murder spree has less to do with her Ni’Jah (Beyoncé) obsession and more to do with the fact that she’s clearly mentally ill and was in love with her best friend Chloe Bailey and snapped after Chloe killed herself. There’s very little about what it means to be a stan in the series and I don’t even know who Drew is talking to when she’s online, interacting with The Swarm (The Beyhive). What are those people like? Is Dre respected in the stan community? It feels like a very surface read of stan culture from people who clearly love Beyoncé and were afraid of being actually honest with a depiction of the dark side of standom. I watched up to the Billie Eilish episode, and she’s as good as everyone says, then I bailed. Serial killer depictions, I suppose by nature, are very dour and not fun to watch. I applaud the use of a Black woman as a killer but call me when a Black woman gets to slice and dice and have a little fun with it too.

Succession is back and I fear the Roy children are all idiots. But more and more, I’ve begun to realize that this is Logan Roy’s fault. He absolutely spectacularly failed as a father. Spending $10 billion on Pierce Global with no album out?? Just to get back at daddy? Get a therapist! Someone online tried to explain to me that they won’t actually be spending their own money on this alleged purchase (which will never happen, I’m sure of it) but I don’t have the brain capacity to listen to boardroom talk.

Each week, I associate with at least one member of the Roy clan. And it’s usually Kendall but I cannot abide spending money on Erewhon pumpkin seeds, so this week I fear I’m Shiv. Walking around LA doing business deals in pajamas? Absolutely me. I’m in my Adidas sweatpants to dinner era. At least until I get an Ozempic prescription.

Let’s Be Frank

This week, let’s be frank about Starbucks: I also feel duped by Starbucks, though I guess that’s my own fault. Their new drink, the Oleato, has come to the Starbucks Reserve in my neighborhood. First of all, I’m annoyed at the mere presence of Starbucks Reserves because the service in them is abysmal and glacier paced. I don’t know why it takes 10-15 minutes to get anything in a Starbucks Reserve, but Kamala should investigate.

Starbucks press releases always sound like a lit major who’s trying to impress themselves, so here’s a description of the Oleato: “The alchemy of Starbucks arabica coffee and premium Partanna extra virgin olive oil creates an entirely new experience, taking on a depth and dimension that simply must be tasted to be believed.” Girl, it tastes like your regular coffee that someone poured olive oil in. If you like that, then more power to you. I personally like olive oil and sea salt on vanilla ice cream, for instance. In my coffee… idk about that one!

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I’m also going to keep this thing a general collection of my pop culture musings, there may be some fiction pieces appearing again in the future but not while I’m on a deadline for my actual book that needs to be finished soon, my editor will kill me otherwise. And also, you subscribed to Frank presumably because you follow me on Twitter or listen to Keep It. So I will continue to keep Frank as a place where I discuss pop culture and culture in all its forms.