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The Real Housewives of Potomac
Season 9, Episode 2: “Double Trouble”
Grade: B
We pick up where we left off last week, with Mia sobbing in the bathroom after a tag-team from Karen and Gizelle. Mia doesn’t want anyone ever to question her devotion to her kids. Okay. Sure. Questioning your child’s paternity on camera seems like doing an excellent job as a parent. She reluctantly returns to Karen’s birthday party, where they all sing Happy Birthday to Karen and the cardboard cutout. Karen boasts in a confessional: “This was not going to be the inquisition party they thought it was going to be.”
Soon, we arrived at the alleged “Sit Down of the Century.” Gizelle and Wendy sit down to hash out their issues. I’m just gonna go ahead and say it. This scene was a waste of time. After all of the bad blood between Gizelle and Wendy, they meet up to squash the beef. This is in part, because their allies Robyn and Candiace are no longer on the show. This is also in part, because they both realize that the show cannot move forward with the same divisions that existed in the past. But I do want to get one thing straight. The belief that production sat Gizelle down and “forced” her to become friends with Wendy or else she’d get a pink slip is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. Gizelle, aside from Karen, has the most job security on this show (she’s been on two spin-offs, Ultimate Girls Trip and the upcoming Love Hotel). They ARE the show. They’d sooner axe Wendy than force Gizelle to interact with her. The thing is, Gizelle is a producer at heart and knows what’s good for the show! She knows that it’s better for her to get along with Wendy than to keep fighting over bullshit. And so, here we have a lunch meeting that unfortunately… amounts to nothing.
Wendy arrives dressed in feathers and a breastilicious outfit (Happy and Ness cost a lot of money, okay??). It’s a bit much for lunch and Potomac. I know this is Housewives, but it’s giving Bronwyn. Gizelle is clearly uncomfortable with being held accountable for anything ever, as she stammers through a mission statement for the meeting: “I’m not coming to this conversation with any isms.” Any colorisms? Lmao. I have no idea what isms she’s talking about, not that it matters, because the conversation is over as quickly as it starts. Gizelle says she feels Wendy is condescending. We get an example of this when Wendy makes fun of how Gizelle eats her oysters: she uses a fork. Girl, I’d make fun of you for eating oysters like that too. It’s weird. It’s like eating a New York slice with a knife and fork. Sure, you can. But why?
Wendy doesn’t like how Gizelle polices her response to things. We flashback to Gizelle bringing up the rumor about Eddie having an affair. Wendy also doesn’t like how Gizelle alienates people she doesn’t like from the group. Gizelle acknowledges that when she doesn’t like someone, she’d rather not speak to them, which is very Virgo behavior. Gizelle promises when she has an issue in the future, she will bring it up in the moment (this is important for later in the episode!). And then, the convo is over! And they shift to making jokes about how short Mia’s new boyfriend is. If you were wondering how long the actual lunch was, on Twitter Wendy says it was about two hours and that a lot of her gripes with Gizelle were cut.
If anything, this edited lunch scene should dispel the conspiracy theory that Gizelle was forced to squash her beef with Wendy, lest she be fired. The conversation was heavily edited not particularly in Gizelle’s favor, but in favor of wiping the slate clean for new audience members in the spirit of this season’s soft reboot of RHOP. With an influx of new ladies and new dynamics, the show would rather not be bogged down in years of beef between both women that also involves Candiace and Robyn (who aren’t even on the show anymore). The show is protecting Gizelle, but it’s also protecting its new narrative going forward. If Gizelle and Wendy have any kind of falling out, it will have to be a new falling out, not a beef over some old, tired shit. And well, thank God for that, I guess.
New Housewife Stacey makes arepas with her daughter Arabella and their au pair. Love a rich bitch! She’s teaching her daughter Spanish so she can be tri-lingual. Arabella already knows German, since her father is German. Stacey and Arabella are still living with her soon-to-be ex-husband, but they sleep in separate beds. Also, he is not filming and his face is blurred out in every photo they show of him. Arabella also doesn’t know about the divorce yet. Well, I hope she learned before this episode aired! Ashley arrives to go on a hike with Stacey and get the lowdown on her divorce and new dating life. Ashley is SHOCKED that Stacey is still living with her ex. I don’t think ASHLEY DARBY gets to comment on anybody else’s divorce. How long has she been “separating” from Michael and annoying the fuck out of us? She’s got a lot of nerve.
The conversation moves on to racial identity when Stacey asks Ashley how she identifies. Ashley says she sees herself as Black since she has a Black mom and her white dad rejected her on camera. Maybe I added that last part. Stacey wants Arabella to be able to figure out her own racial identity without people figuring it out for her. Ashley wants the same for her sons. They both bemoan the lack of Black influence in their kids’ lives. I don’t know. They could probably just… introduce their children to more Black people. They live in the DMV. Be serious, please. Stacey moves on to her new boyfriend, TJ. He’s a devout Christian. Sure, nothing wrong with that. She met him when he was applying to be a QVC host. A male, Christian, QVC host? Sure… nothing wrong with that. TJ also doesn’t believe in sex before marriage, so they have yet to be intimate with one another. No sex. No hooking up. No making out. Stacey… I don’t want to make assumptions about men who want to host shows at QVC but… are we sure this man isn’t looking for some QVD?
Karen catches up with our other new Housewife, Keiarna. She’s returned this season with a champagne flute after being a Friend Of last season. I guess it was the altercation with Ashley’s friend Deborah in the finale that got her brought back, but I’m wondering what Keiarna brings to the table this season to earn a full-time cast spot. Time will tell! As of now, she and her new man Greg are building a home in Baltimore. Which is definitely NOT Potomac. Karen messily asks Keiarna if she was invited to her birthday party when she knows Gizelle didn’t invite her.
Karen catches up with Gizelle later and asks her to invite Keiarna to her latest GnA event. GnA is the alleged athletic clothing line started by Gizelle and Ashley. This event, however, is in honor of Gizelle’s late father who died of a brain tumor. She shares a horrible story about how a cat scan revealed his brain tumor and then he died 12 days later. This event is to help raise more awareness of early cancer detection. Karen uses this moment to bring up the fact that she is being honored that same day at an event named Femme Powered. Maybe it’s earlier in the day though, she doesn’t quite remember. The editors helpfully let us know the event is from 6-9 PM, the exact same time as Gizelle’s event. Gizelle lets us know that Karen’s name was not on the Femme Powered event invitation three months prior, which means this is a recent PR development from Karen to combat all the drama from her DUI. Karen promises to attend both events! She certainly won’t be able to!
The next morning, Karen sends a text to all of the ladies, inviting them to the Femme Powered event. Day of. That’s nasty work. I hate it, but also love it at the same time, because this is classic Real Housewives behavior! Trumping a brain cancer awareness event so you can get a vanity award amid your DUI scandal? Amazing. And of course, Karen is doing this all to stick it to Gizelle for turning her birthday party into “an inquisition.”
At the GnA Event, Vivien arrives despite being Karen’s friend. She’s playing sides, I love it. Jacqueline also arrives, because Karen never included her on the original text in the first place. Poor Jacqueline. She’ll always be a Friend Of. Ashley calls the ladies on Karen’s sprinter van and asks them where they are. They all promise to be at the GnA event by 8 PM! Gizelle tells Ashley if they’re not there by 7:30 PM, don’t even bother. Ashley’s messy ass does not relay this information and tells them 8PM is fine! Mia and Co. hop over to Karen’s event for a few minutes, then zoom through Potomac traffic to make it to Gizelle’s event. They arrive just a few minutes after 8PM. And when they do… Gizelle is ready to kick ALL of their asses out. To be continued!!
